Nicole Scherzinger looked virtually purr-fect onstage with the Pussycat Dolls while in her 20s.
Yet once the lights dimmed, the singer and former X Factor judge verbalizes she went to insalubrious measures to stay svelte, battling bulimia for eight years afore determinately getting avail.
"I had such a great life on the outside, the Dolls were on top of the world, but I was miserable on the inside," she reveals in the August issue of Cosmopolitan magazine in the U.K. "I’m never letting that transpire again."
Scherzinger, 36, went public with her bulimia struggle in 2012 and admits verbalizing about her long-secret eating disorder is still arduous.
It is such a horrible, paralyzing disease and it was such a dark time for me," she verbalizes. "I didn't cerebrate anyone kenned in my group or in my family because I obnubilated it that well, I was so ignominious. I kenned it wasn't mundane or salubrious because I was hurting myself through this cycle of disordered eating. It was my drug, my addiction. It's an illimitable vicious cycle."
She verbally expresses it took blacking out while on tour to conclusively arouse to her quandary.
"I had commenced losing my voice, I couldn't sing at shows, and then I recollect my manager finding me passed out on the floor in Malta or in the south of France," she recalls. "I cerebrated, 'I'm going to lose everything I dote if I don't dote myself.' "
Today, Scherzinger is salubrious, but admits that despite her outgoing public persona, deep down she is a shy person.
"I get past my shyness by making everything about others and not contemplating myself," she verbalizes. "That's what I did on The X Factor – I can be goofy and frolicsome when it's about the acts. They are like my babies. But when I'm off stage I'm not as astronomically immense and animated ... for me all my smiles and confidence are a triumph because it emanated from a broken place."
Another thing that makes her smile? Her ostensibly on-again relationship with British Formula 1 racer Lewis Hamilton.
"Well, it's something crazy romantic," she verbalizes. "Relationships are hard and having to hold a long-distance relationship is even harder ... But I'm good and I'm ecstatic."
